6.1 How to Be an Imperfectionist

1. Types of Perfectionism

1. Toward yourself
2. Toward others
3. Toward society

2. Why Perfectionism Develops

1. Lack of security
2. Low self-esteem

3. What Is Perfectionism?

It mainly appears in the following forms:

1. Excessively high expectations
2. Dwelling on things
3. Need for approval
4. Concern about mistakes
5. Concern about taking action

Attributes of Perfectionism / What Standards Are There?

Situation

Quality

Quantity

Why Perfectionism Develops

4. Problems of Perfectionists

4.1. Excessively High Expectations

4.1.1. Emotions and Expectations

Overall expectations: your general expectations for yourself, which form the ceiling of your life.

Specific expectations: expectations created by the situations you encounter every day, such as interpersonal relationships and work.

The best combination is high overall expectations and low specific expectations.

4.1.2. Be Content

Do not be permanently dissatisfied; instead, think in terms of “it can still be better.”

4.1.3. Lower the Standard for Taking Action

Once it is good enough, you can act.

4.1.4. Focus on the Process Rather Than the Result

Excessively high expectations come in two forms:

1. Before acting: expectations about the current environment
2. After acting: expectations about the future result

The best approach is to ignore both and focus on the process of taking action.

4.2. Dwelling on Things

4.2.1. What It Is

Paying excessive attention to your own problems and the causes behind them, and blaming yourself for your past performance.

4.2.2. How to Respond

1. Accept reality instead of focusing on sunk costs
2. Failure may be accidental; try again and it may work
3. Build healthy self-talk. Use “can” instead of “should”
4. Take action

4.3. Need for Approval

4.4. Concern About Mistakes

4.5. Concern About Taking Action

5. References

Accepting Imperfection Is So Hard | How to Be an Imperfectionist | Psychology Book - Bilibili